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HomeUncategorizedTravis Kelce’s 2023 Season, as Narrated by Gossip Headlines

Travis Kelce’s 2023 Season, as Narrated by Gossip Headlines

Being a culture writer at The Ringer, I consume sports in just two ways: docuseries about sports and when a sports-related event crosses far enough into pop culture to be featured in Page Six, People magazine, or the Daily Mail (that one’s mostly for Lewis Hamilton news). When Taylor Swift started dating Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, I was thrilled that I might finally engage in conversations about sports with my Ringer colleagues. However, each headline I read in my beloved tabloids only perplexes me further about who Travis Kelce is and for what reason he refuses to accompany Taylor Swift to the Golden Globes and why he celebrated his birthday in his car. Hence, I asked Nora Princiotti—my friend, esteemed colleague, and expert reporter on both Taylor Swift and the NFL—to assist me in deciphering these headlines and their actual implications.

Nora: Jodi! I am delighted to be here with you. Living in the heart of this specific Venn diagram continues to be strange, but I’m here to assist. I cannot guarantee making sense of all this, but I’m eagerly looking forward to exploring “Travis Kelce as portrayed by the Page Six headline writers” together. Where should we commence?

Jodi: Nora, you are aware that I possess minimal knowledge of the NFL. However, I must confess before we embark on this discussion: I know absolutely nothing about the NFL. I might—and will—deplete your intelligence through this process. Nevertheless, in return, you will enrich my knowledge. What is that if not friendship? What is that if not the prospect of a wonderfully perplexing Page Six headline in the future? Let’s begin:

“Travis Kelce spends 34th birthday hanging out in his car with friends—not Taylor Swift” —Page Six, October 6

Jodi: It’s been a while since I contemplated just … hanging out in my car. Recently, I did perceive my car to be in park, but—PLOT TWIST—it was still in drive, and when I initiated my obligatory “just a quick scroll” before entering my house, my car did roll forward and gently brushed against the neighbor’s car …

… but that’s me. And this concerns NFL tight end Travis Kelce—a figure in a profession I completely grasp. On this particular day in October, Travis Kelce seemingly opted to celebrate his 34th birthday inside his car, with his friends, but without his new girlfriend, international superstar Taylor Swift.

I want to clarify that I am somewhat familiar with Kelce, as I’ve observed his fashion sense, listened to him speak, and can easily envision his sly grin. Hence, given his persona akin to an adolescent, I can indeed picture him loitering in a Sonic parking lot; the Route 44 Ocean Water virtually fills itself with vodka. Nevertheless, I doubt that’s the scenario here, as it’s his birthday, and high school festivities don’t transpire at Sonic—they happen at Texas Roadhouse. Could Page Six have encapsulated Travis Kelce hanging out in a Texas Roadhouse parking lot, recuperating from numerous servings of cinnamon butter with his friends? Conceivable…

However, I fail to comprehend why Taylor Swift wasn’t invited to such an event. Undoubtedly, she is an affluent individual capable of frequenting any place she desires, but an intriguing aspect of her relationship with Travis Kelce seems to be that she can stroll along pavements once more. May she not wish to hang out in a car? Nevertheless, my primary inquiry—and I do mean that in a literal sense—doesn’t pertain to the Sonic parking lot or Taylor Swift’s whereabouts for her boyfriend’s birthday. It’s that Travis Kelce is a colossal, NFL player, and his friends are likely likewise: What type of vehicle would offer them adequate space to hang out, let alone engage in blowing out birthday candles?

Nora: These are all pertinent questions, and I believe exploring Travis’s preferred vehicles is warranted. In this instance, it appears that he and his friends assembled for this birthday gathering in some immense, nondescript SUV. However, when Travis has chauffeured Taylor around Kansas City on previous occasions, he has favored either a vintage convertible or his Rolls-Royce Ghost, an enormous yet highly identifiable SUV featuring an LED light-up ceiling capable of displaying the night sky’s constellations. The only car feature of significance to me is a comfortable heated seat—cozy!—yet I do believe these choices indicate Travis’s proclivity to be in the car. Moreover, I do not wish to implicate anyone, but he does not strike me as someone undoubtedly unfamiliar with the notion of hotboxing.

Jodi, enlightened: This is indeed comical behavior; they genuinely resemble oversized teenagers congregating in a parking lot, clandestinely indulging in smoking amidst football practice! Moreover, that car is colossal and, more significantly, appears to be sporting an additional hat to accommodate someone as tall as Kelce. Taylor Swift ought not to have to congregate in that car, but she certainly should be extended an invitation.

Nora: Taylor Swift should perpetually receive an invitation. I am of the opinion that one of the primary perceptions one might form of Travis from these headlines is that he is perpetually either with Taylor Swift or without Taylor Swift. This binary categorization denotes the defining characteristic of any venture he undertakes these days, which regrettably renders half of his activities somewhat unremarkable, notwithstanding their nature. I would not wish for such a characterization to be applied to my life. Nora Princiotti savors a day at the beach … WITHOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. Nora Princiotti rescues a stray kitten … BUT TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Spare me the agony, Page Six!

For the record, I am inclined to believe that Taylor visited Travis in Kansas City around his birthday to partake in celebrations. Furthermore, as this car rendezvous transpired in the Chiefs’ parking lot, I surmise it occurred subsequent to practice! I’m inclined to believe that Travis and his friends were essentially arriving and departing, notwithstanding the story’s assertion that they spent an hour inside the car. I cannot envision anything I would be less inclined to partake in on my birthday than loitering within a car for an hour, yet I also do not profess to comprehend the bond between certain individuals and their motor vehicles.

“Eli Manning defends Travis Kelce visiting Taylor Swift in Argentina on his bye week” —Page Six, November 9

Jodi: Nora, I won’t make you explain what a bye week is, I’ll Google it, but please don’t tell our superiors I didn’t know!!!

Ah yes, it’s a traditional bye week in Kansas City, and Travis Kelce is off duty. He’s availing himself of NFL PTO, and he knows precisely how to utilize it: He’s intending to visit his girlfriend in Argentina, where she is delivering more than a decade’s worth of music in front of 85,000 people. I can only surmise that Eli Manning—former NFL quarterback, nailed it—feels compelled to defend Travis Kelce owing to … people’s belief… that Kelce ought to be… resting? (I cannot validate this, but I presume that traveling via a private plane is among the most luxurious experiences feasible, closely rivaled exclusively by hotboxing a Rolls-Royce with your closest, dearest, and perspiring companions.)

Animatedly, Eli Manning is likely expressing, “Don’t fret, everyone who’s neverplayed a day of pro football in their life; I engaged in multiple getaways while being an NFL signal-caller for 16 years, and I remained incredibly skilled in football even after.” (Seems like a decent guy, this individual I’ve constructed in my mind!) Is that all? Do enthusiasts believe Travis Kelce shouldn’t be journeying? I signify, it’s a idle period—as in, farewell Kansas City, hi Argentina! My comprehension is that Travis Kelce excels at football. He’s not going to become inexpert at football if he takes his time off … off. Correct? Correct, Nora?!

Nora: He isn’t. That being said, the thing you must comprehend is that, in football culture, there are a copious amount of pitfalls concealed beneath the dates on the NFL calendar when an athlete is, at least in theory, not obligated to be performing football activities. Eli Manning certainly knows this. He was the signal-caller of the 2016 New York Giants squad whose wideouts caused an outcry by going to Miami—and publishing snapshots taken on a boat with none other than Trey Songz, among others—ahead of their wild-card playoff game against the Packers, which they ultimately lost by multiple touchdowns. This was substantial enough to warrant a moniker—something I know you, Jodi, can appreciate—and it fills me with joy to inform you that this one was dubbed “Boatghazi.” So maybe Eli is furnishing quotes to Individuals (which Page Six clustered) because he wants to assist Travis in eluding a comparable outcome. (Page Six is aggregating Eli Manning quotes because, in New York, there is continuously a local angle.)

“Why Travis Kelce isn’t journeying to NYC to be with Taylor Swift on her birthday” —Page Six, December 13

Jodi: Wow, so what I’ve observed is that Travis Kelce was imperiling not only jet lag, but reputational ruination (and perhaps a kick-ass portmanteau, which I actually consider an equal exchange) in order to visit his girlfriend in Argentina. It genuinely appears like he enjoys spending time with Taylor. But Page Six has made it abundantly clear to me that he is almost never spending holidays with Taylor, so I’m inundated with questions once again! (I truly hope Trey Songz somehow reenters this chat as a consequence.)

In Travis’s defense for this headline, I’ll express this: Almost all of my cherished ones’ birthdays, including my own, transpire within the same two-month period, and it can be a bit demanding to manage. What, am I supposed to journey to Georgia thrice in a month to celebrate a multitude of non-milestone birthdays? And if I don’t, PAGE SIX IS GOING TO CLAIM I DON’T CHERISH MY MOM???

So I understand; it could be challenging in a new relationship to have both birthdays only two months apart during the busy season and while being continuously monitored by the headline-reading masses. Furthermore, Travis absolutely seems like a birthday-month individual, and it’s my knowledge that Taylor Swift is rather a birthday-lifetime individual (no. 13). So why wouldn’t Travis journey to see Taylor on her birthday in NYC? I mean, he traveled to Argentina for her not-birthday ON A BYE WEEK! Kansas City to New York is just under three hours on a plane—is that not the kind of thing you can do between football matches? Is Page Six correct? Did Travis Kelce intentionally miss Taylor Swift’s 34th birthday? Is it because she desired to celebrate it outside of an automobile? Is there not a Texas Roadhouse in New York City?

Nora: May I simply express first that I adore that Page Six labeled this article under “music”?

Once more, football culture comes with numerous implied regulations. Would Travis have been explicitly prohibited from rapidly hopping on the PJ to visit Taylor in New York for a night? No, but I wager it would have backfired, certainly in the press and potentially also with his teammates. If the BYE WEEK is risky, traveling in between days of practices definitely is. (I do contemplate if the invitation had been to Texas Roadhouse and not to Zero Bond—the private club where Taylor Swift frequents and where Lauren Sánchez’s son works while attending the University of Colorado, Boulder remotely—Travis would have at least conferred with Andy Reid about it.)

Jodi: This story is labeled under music?! And here I deliberated I was at last penetrating into sports journalism. But I’m learning so much, that’s certainly just around the corner. (First lesson: Don’t shirk football practice for lamb sliders at Zero Bond.)

“Jason Kelce calls out Taylor Swift’s dad for wearing Chiefs sweater despite being Eagles fan: ‘Incorrect team’” —Page Six, December 20

Jodi: Nora, hold on. … I’m so embarrassed to be inquiring with you this on multiple different levels, but … didn’t Taylor Swift grow up in Pennsylvania? Is she, like her father (according to her boyfriend’s brother, according to this headline in Page Six), a aficionado of the Philadelphia Eagles?! I suppose everyone is perhaps over it now, but this all had the potential to become very Capulets and Montagues, huh?

This, here is what I undergo perusing these headlines—knowing a great deal about all of these individuals and yet so exceedingly little. From your earlier explanations, I surmise there’s a whole unwritten rule tome about football attire (costumes? uniforms? gear? fashions? I’m so apologetic). But from what I understand about Jason Kelce—which is frankly kind of a lot via my TikTok algorithm—he’s a flip-flop-wearing, podcast-having, gruff little sweetheart. Therefore, it is my presumption that he called out Taylor Swift’s dad all in good fun. And yet, Page Six has presented it as though Jason Kelce is prepared to engage in fisticuffs with a 71-year-old individual. Is that factual? Is everyone amicably interacting in these two vastly renowned, profoundly Americana families? Has Scott Swift forfeited all of his principles, traditions, and allegiances to Philadelphia in order to support his daughter’s boyfriend? (Because I personally believe that’s nice, but I don’t possess any football costumes, so, as customary, what do I know?)

Nora: Oh, to be singled out in the headlines of Page Six. This is another tabloid thing, yes? Everyone always appears to be getting singled out—or worse, publicly criticized. I’m thrilled the algorithm has delivered you Jason Kelce content, though, and I believe your instincts are accurate here: This is all in good fun. Yes, Taylor Swift grew up an Eagles fan, and, yes, that is where Scott Swift’s fandom previously lay. But I believe we’re all #TeamTravis now, and I think Jason probably comprehends that deep down. The thing you need to know about Scott Swift is that he’s a former college football player turned stockbroker who began a family with his then-wife, Andrea, on a Christmas tree farm in Pennsylvania before they all relocated to Nashville for Taylor’s career. Taylor’s previous couple of boyfriends have been somewhat obscure British artists. I’m prepared to wager he’d vocally support the Cowboys (the Eagles’ despised divisional adversary) just to engage in football talk at the dinner table.

“Travis Kelce sets hearts racing with rediscovered video of him donning nothing but a towel: ‘Taylor [we] get it’” —Page Six, December 21

Jodi: I want you to shut your eyes and picture the, honestly, shameful grin that was stuck across my face as you described this Christmas-tree-loving man getting the all-American son-in-law he’d always desired. I was welling up like I’d given my own father the son-in-law that he would create in a lab, someone to drink a Scotch with at Christmastime while they talk about how superb I am (strangely enough, an esoteric Brit would do just fine in that situation).

Now visualize my face when I went from that glowing image of familial synchronicity to this Page Six headline. “Resurfaced” sounds incredibly seedy, especially when you consider that the resurfaced video captured Travis Kelce in a towel. I envision this headline is referencing the same video I saw touted in a comparable headline at People: “Throwback Travis Kelce Spa Video Goes Viral—and Heats Up the Internet: ‘I Love Bubbles.’” And I honestly can’t tell if the People headline makes it all seem less tawdry or more. There’s a big, giant man saying, “I love bubbles,” sure—but then there’s also calling it a spa video.

What is this spa video?! Who, exactly, is Page Six quoting as telling Taylor they “get it”? And whose pulses were racing? Not my pulse. I’ll have to check my calendar, but I’m pretty sure I was with Scott Swift on the couch, having a couple of brewskies and watching the big game on the day his future son-in-law was “heating up the internet.” Nora, were you on the internet on this day? Why was Travis Kelce wearing only a towel?

Nora: If the sluttiest thing a man can do is wear a sweater, is the second-sluttiest thing participating in an ESPN video feature on your wellness routine? Here’s the thing—it’s definitely a choice on the part of these publications to lean into the spa video of it all … but that is really what this is! Travis Kelce did a SportsCenter feature in 2017 where he went to a spa and got a massage and wore what appears to be some kind of clay mask. At one point, Travis, while lying on a massage table, told his spa tech, “I just feel like I’m a fish sitting on a skillet right now, just getting, like, seasoned.” I’d love to tsk-tsk Page Six and People for making something innocuous into something tawdry, as you said, but the question I can’t answer is: Why did ESPN do this? Why did Travis? And how is this man seasoning his fish?

One thing I can appreciate is the tried-and-true tabloid tradition of taking a tweet liked by 147 people and presenting it as a bona fide internet phenomenon. I was apparently logged off the day this all went down—I’m pretty tapped into this particular beat, but I don’t remember paying attention to this story. My pulse was decidedly languid.

“Tony Romo accidentally calls Taylor Swift Travis Kelce’s ‘wife’ for second time” —Page Six, December 26

Jodi: This is a hilarious mistake to make twice. I’m obsessed. Because I’m pretty sure Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have been dating for only six-ish months. So did Tony Romo just immediately conceptualize Taylor as Travis’s wife? Does he consider this to be a Jacob-Renesmee imprinting situation? Is he a hopeless romantic or just hopelessly forgetful? Plus, I feel like Taylor Swift has been to six Chiefs games total … has Tony Romo called her Travis Kelce’s wife at a third of them? And what will he call her if they actually do get married? “Ah yes, and there’s Travis’s common-law life partner in the stands cheering him on. You simply love to see it, Jim! My pulse is racing.”

Nora: First of all, did you pull “Jim” out of thin air, or are you intimately familiar with CBS’s NFL broadcast pairings? In either case, well done. I’m feeling generous, so I’ll assume that Tony Romo can imagine a woman in various roles beyond just “wife” and that that’s not the underlying issue here. Romo did make this flub twice. I like the idea that the first one was just a slip of the tongue, and the second was a sort of pink elephant situation where Romo, both having been reminded by his producers that Taylor and Travis are not married and fearing the repercussions of offending any Swifties, spent an entire week thinking only that he needed to avoid a repeat mistake until the intrusive thoughts became words yet again. Oh, Tony, what you’ve been through.

Jodi: Thin air! I almost went “Don” and then pivoted to “Jim.” Classic broadcaster name.

Nora: Someday, then, we’ll have a conversation about Jim Nantz. But today is not that day.

“Travis Kelce won’t be on the Golden Globes red carpet with Taylor Swift” —Page Six, January 3

Jodi: Damn, can this guy go anywhere? It’s like he’s constantly grounded! “Travis can’t come out to play; he didn’t finish his tackles before dinner.” “But Mr. Reeeeid, tonight’s the Golden Globes.” “Sorry, Haim sisters, he knows the rules—you can tell Taylor to take it up with him tomorrow at the Emmys.”

I now know enough to have imagined that very realistic conversation—you’re teaching me so much, Nora! (Is this the most secondhand embarrassment you’ve ever experienced? Be honest.) But for real, I do now know that if Travis took time between practices to visit his girlfriend, that might make his teammates mad … and taking time to travel internationally during a bye week might cause a scandal … and I can only imagine the same goes for traveling to L.A. to attend a bunch of Hollywood parties on a Sunday night. Sure, that handsome young man might seem like a party animal, but it takes a lot of discipline and sacrifice to be that—OK, wow, this is making me realize that playing for the NFL has most of the same social parameters as high school. Outside pressures! Social expectations! Scandal! Hot but tortured jocks!

Which, for a girlie like Taylor, who didn’t get to have an entirely normal high school experience, might be kind of nice. Even if it means she never gets to see her hot jock boyfriend (according to Page Six).

Nora: What’s funniest about this is that the Chiefs were playing in Los Angeles the afternoon of the Golden Globes. You’re picking up on something very real about players being effectively grounded during the season. Some teams stay in hotels the nights before home games because they’re not trusted to stay out of trouble or navigate traffic on their own and get to the stadium on time. This is a sport in which there’s often outrage when players get excused absences (literally high school) to attend the births of their children. So part of me finds it kind of delicious that the gossip rags don’t treat it as a fait accompli that the world revolves around the football calendar. But let’s be real, it definitely doesn’t revolve around

Jodi: Travis Kelce ought to emcee the Golden Globes next year … provided he secures a doctor’s note.

“Taylor Swift’s cat Olivia Benson commands a greater net worth than Travis Kelce” —Page Six, January 7

Jodi: Apologies, does Taylor Swift’s cat have a profession? Besides serving as Taylor Swift’s cat? (And taking part in especially heinous offenses as part of an exclusive criminal justice squad known as the Special Victims Unit.)

Actually, let me quickly backtrack on that disbelief: In college, I operated the desk of a form of student lounge that comprised precisely two pool tables that I believe were introduced to our campus as an option to binge drinking …

A cat certainly could have handled that responsibility. However, they would not have earned a superior salary compared to Travis Kelce, who I presume rakes in tens of millions of dollars, along with earnings for sultry ESPN videos.

Nora: Despite receiving the distinctive label of “the most peculiar cat I’ve ever witnessed in my life” from none other than John Cleese, Olivia Benson has, indeed, received payment for professional activities. She has appeared in advertisements, you see. Brands like DirecTV and Diet Coke are eager for that sought-after O.B. endorsement.

According to’s “Ultimate Pet Rich List,” Benson holds the title of the world’s third-wealthiest domestic animal, trailing German shepherd Gunther VI, who recently expanded his $500 million net worth by selling “a mansion formerly owned by Madonna” (???), and feline influencer Nala, who has $100 million to her name. Olivia Benson follows closely with $97 million, which surpasses Kelce’s $77 million career earnings from football. I presume she has made wise investments.

Jodi: Okay, hats off to Olivia Benson—she may be a nepotism beneficiary, but she is not simply coasting on her furry accomplishments.

“Travis Kelce Explains Why He Sat Out the Chiefs’ Last Game: ‘It Didn’t Feel Right in My Gut’” —People, January 10

Jodi: I acknowledge that I am likely misinterpreting this. I can very clearly hear Travis Kelce uttering these words—“It didn’t feel right in my gut”—in the earnest tone he adopts on his podcast with his brother at times (but it still sounds like he’s grinning, because he is Lance from The Other Two). Hence, I am aware that he is referring to an instinct “in his gut” that counseled him against participating in this game. But still …

… this People headline is clearly suggesting that Travis Kelce has been grappling with intestinal discomfort. Something did not sit well with his gut, and that something was one too many Chicken Critters at Texas Roadhouse. Yet even once I discard my initial (certainly erroneous) assumption about the headline’s meaning, it still somewhat suggests that Travis Kelce … had a premonition of impending misfortune if he played in the next Chiefs game?

Is Travis Kelce a sorcerer? Has Travis Kelce achieved such success because he’s been predicting outcomes like That’s So Raven throughout the NFL? And if Travis Kelce can foresee the future … did he always anticipate that he would eventually date Taylor Swift? That’s profound, man. (Also, I was unaware that you could simply opt out of an NFL game if you wanted to. Among all the regulations we’ve discussed, both express and implied, “participating in the games” does feel like a significant one?)

Nora: I don’t intend to be indelicate here, but I have a hypothesis that a lot more player absences result from, um, gastrointestinal issues than we realize. These are colossal individuals: They eat a lot, and then they engage in physical activity. Sometimes an “abdomen” emerges on an injury report and, well, we’re all human. ANYWAY, thank you for reminding me about the paranormal central plot of That’s So Raven. As someone who allocates some present-day time to contemplating That’s So Raven, I think I had forgotten that That’s So Raven actually revolved around anything other than Raven-Symoné making faces that would one day turn into memes.

The crucial point to note here is that the game in question was the Chiefs’ final game of the regular season. By that juncture, they had secured adequate victories to ensure their place in the playoffs. Winning one more game was inconsequential. Under these circumstances, important players frequently abstain from playing to avoid the risk of sustaining an injury. Travis was 16 receiving yards away from reaching 1,000 for the season, a milestone he has achieved for the past seven years and is quite significant. Nonetheless, considering that he has suffered injuries this season and is indispensable to the team, it would have genuinely been more surprising if he had participated. Essentially, Travis sat out the Chiefs game because it didn’t feel right in his ankle.

Jodi: I entertain the theory that Olivia Benson should purchase me a car. However, your theory about NFL players experiencing stomach discomfort much more frequently certainly holds true, and it seems that Trav made the correct decision. (Of course he did, he’s practically a sorcerer.)

“Travis Kelce is ‘too famous’ and preoccupied with Taylor Swift to return my messages, ex-Chiefs player Tyreek Hill claims” —Page Six, January 12

Jodi: This is no slight on Tyreek Hill, and I’m sure his sentiments about friendship are entirely legitimate, but … I can barely manage to respond to messages, and I’m absolutely not famous at all. It demands every ounce of my energy to post an Instagram Story. Sometimes doing things is just difficult! (Even though I have witnessed Travis Kelce’s tweets—he may not be contemplating his social media activity to the extent that I am.)

I mean, can you imagine how much your life would change once you commenced dating Taylor Swift? The logistics involved in dining out or traveling to Argentina, or attending a meeting to discuss branding opportunities with her cat? Let’s afford the man some time to acclimate to love a bit, get through this football season with his stomach lining intact, and—most likely central to Tyreek’s messaging goals—retrieve his phone from wherever Tree Paine concealed it after thoseold messages were released. (Alternatively, an idea for Tyreek is that if he drives up to any parking lot in Kansas City in a large Escalade, Travis Kelce might just appear.)

Nora: Messaging is truly the worst. I completely relate. Additionally, Tyreek Hill is a complete idiot with a track record of causing issues for his acquaintances and peers by sharing too much on his podcast—and much worse. No apologies for you being ignored!

Jodi: Travis Kelce, if you’re reading this, do not approach a Kansas City Target parking lot Escalade XL—Tyreek Hill is inside, ready to reveal your secrets!

“TMZ Sources Say Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are Entering a ‘Very Challenging Stage of Their Relationship’” —Delish, January 16

Jodi: Alright, I certainly don’t want to be disrespectful to journalists, but …

… the main obstacles to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s relationship are these tabloid headlines. Which, as you brilliantly pointed out at the beginning of this extensive investigation, Nora, create an unnecessary dichotomy out of reporting every time that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are or are not together. It seems like Travis Kelce didn’t attend the Golden Globes because he’s committed to his job. Which, considering everything I know about Taylor Swift, I have to assume she appreciates about him.

Obviously, that is an assumption. Because this exercise with you has educated me on the social dynamics of the NFL, and even more about feline finances, but scrutinizing these headlines has taught me absolutely nothing about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s actual relationship, which I have about as much access to as Tyreek Hill has to Travis Kelce’s iMessages. Which is to say: none! Except for a That’s So Raven moment, I can’t confirm whether this celebrity relationship is entering “a very challenging stage.” But I can analyze these celebrity site headlines with a slightly more nuanced perspective on reality (and football schedules) thanks to the one and only Nora Princiotti, featured here … WITHOUT TAYLOR SWIFT!

What about you, Nora? Where do you stand after explaining football to a woman in her 30s because two other individuals in their 30s make headlines every time they don’t do something together?

Nora: First off, I’ve gained a lot of knowledge about the various culinary offerings of Texas Roadhouse. Besides that, we both agree that the Taylor and the Travis portrayed in these headlines and articles are captivating and somewhat peculiar figures, but they don’t seem to have much in common with the real-life Traylor. Nonetheless, without depending on TMZ or any inside information of my own, I do believe that I can confirm that Taylor and Travis are facing a challenging period: They’re going to Buffalo together this weekend.

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